Hi! I’m currently taking time off from regular posting after having a baby this summer, but want to check in with a little update.
Sweet readers, I’m having a tough time right now.
Whether you’re (1) evacuating your home or have family/friends on the west coast during these devastating wildfires, (2) trying to find normalcy in a very not normal world, and/or (3) adjusting to children learning at home or back in school during this pandemic, this season of life feels very different. It certainly feels different for me. We welcomed our beautiful baby girl this past summer and are absolutely in love with her. From her big curious eyes down to her tiny little toes, she is honestly the sweetest. She’s such an easy baby, but maybe that’s because we have the experience under our belts. Our older daughter just loves her and wants to be around her all the time. We’re so blessed to have our health, home, and happy daughters.
My heart is just so full.
However, at the very same time, a piece of my heart feels like it’s missing.
Our beloved dog, Jude, passed away last month. Jude was diagnosed with cancer in August 2019 and fought it for a year. As pet owners know, pets are a very big part of the family. And Jude? He was my shadow. My sidekick. A true companion in every sense of the word. An irreplaceable part of this family. Wherever I was, he was. If dogs have souls, Jude has one of the biggest. Not only because he was enormous at 120 lbs, he just had a very big heart. He was the kind of dog who could sense how you were feeling. Laid with you while you were sick, sat with you while you cried, smiled at you (seriously!) when you were happy. For 12 beautiful years, Jude was our constant through it all: new homes, new jobs, cookbooks, our wedding, birthdays, book tour, miscarriage, pregnancies, babies, and all the other moments in between.
For anyone who thrives on routine, the loss of such a prominent part of your life feels impossible. Additionally, the transition from 1 to 2 children certainly has its difficulties. Pair all of this with postpartum recovery, postpartum emotions, sleepless newborn nights, and the isolation felt during this world pandemic and your emotional and mental stress feel like a mountain weighing on top of you. My husband, always looking on the bright side, reminds me of the silver linings we have. We’re so thankful our daughter got to meet Jude and that we even have a few pictures of him sitting beside her bassinet. And having activities and gatherings cancelled this summer has encouraged us to slow down. Maybe it’s the same for you too? We’re enjoying more time outdoors and savoring the present. And one last silver lining: While Franklin, our other dog, misses his big buddy, he’s certainly loving all the extra attention. He deserves it.
I mentioned this on social media and want to repeat it here. I know it might seem unseemly to grieve the loss of a dog when so many are losing their lives in the chaos of our world right now. But loss is loss and I’m feeling this one really hard. I recently experienced one of my best days and one of my worst. It’s been an absolute roller coaster of emotions and I’m still trying to work through it all.
I miss him so much. Jude was the happiest dog until those final few days.
I planned to post more recipes during my postpartum time off, but haven’t had the chance to clear my head and publish them all. I promise I’m trying my best to bring you fresh new recipes that I prepped while I was pregnant. Thank you for your patience with me and understanding that I need this time to be with my family.
On a brighter note, it’s Noelle’s 3rd birthday next week! I can’t believe my little girl is turning 3. No big parties this year, but we’re going to make the day as special as we can. She loves the Trolls World Tour movie and I plan to make her a special Queen Poppy cake. I’m terrible with fondant, so I’m thinking vanilla cake, rainbow frosting decoration, and a Trolls cake topper. Have you ever made a Trolls themed birthday cake before? I’m open to ideas!
We took a little vacation to Deep Creek Lake last week. It was a quiet and relaxing family getaway in one of our favorite spots. We just needed a change of scenery. If I’m being honest, sitting on the back deck with coffee and a view was all the medicine we needed. It was after Labor Day, so the lake wasn’t crowded. We lucked out with weather.
‘Tis the season for quick bread. We brought a loaf of the September Sally’s Baking Challenge recipe to the lake with us: cinnamon swirl quick bread. (There have been hundreds of participants so far this month!) This time I mixed 1 cup of chopped and peeled apples into the cinnamon sugar swirl mixture before layering it in. Same bake time. It tasted unbelievable– sort of like last week’s apple cinnamon babka but without a yeasted dough. I highly recommend it.
I was going to wait until the official start of fall, but couldn’t resist. Here’s my first loaf of pumpkin bread this season. I actually prefer it plain without the chocolate chips. I used whole wheat flour in this loaf and topped it with coarse sugar before baking. Same bake time. Always so moist and flavorful.
I want to lead by example not only for my daughters, but for my readers and followers too. In my last coffee break post, I shared my commitment to help break the unjust cycle of racism in our world and country. I hope we each yearn for a more loving and inclusive world and sometimes it’s hard to understand that in order for that to happen, we have to be the change… right now. Over the past couple months, I’ve thought a lot about the privilege I have simply because of the color of my skin. I found this article on Allure.com and while the entire piece is a great resource, the section titled “Reflect on all the ways you benefit from privilege” has been enlightening. (It links to a few more pieces and essays too.) I shared this on my Instagram account, but I joined Rachel Cargle’s eye-opening Do The Work course. It’s a free email course that provides comprehensive and concrete ways for being anti-racist. The emails also include links to articles, other resources, and videos. There is also The Conscious Kid organization. By joining, you have access to many resources for how to teach children (of any age) about anti-racism.
I’m still learning and growing in my own advocacy, but I hope to keep the momentum going that was seen earlier this summer. Racism has deep roots and as we continue to see it in the news every single day, it will not go away without the work.
Have you joined the sourdough bandwagon?
I just picked up a copy of New World Sourdough by Bryan Ford. I’m excited to finally learn more about from-scratch sourdough. I’ve always been intimidated by the entire process because the wealth of information online is overwhelming. However his book and comprehensive guide to sourdough (with FAQs) breaks things down into understandable steps. Super helpful if you’re a beginner like I am.
I also got Whole Grain Sourdough at Home. I haven’t had the chance to dive into it yet, but this book covers how to tackle sourdough using whole wheat flour and ancient grains. Recipes seem very easy to follow too.
I think that’s about it for now. Let’s end this post on a positive note though. No matter what we’re facing in this moment: loss, heartache, exhaustion, injustice, natural disaster, anxiety, change, and anything in between, I know that food can be healing. Baking has always lifted my spirits whether that’s receiving something homemade from a loved one, baking to ease my mind, or baking for someone who needs cheering up. It’s so much more than something sweet, it’s comforting for the mind and soul. Need proof? Last year I wrote a post called What Baking Means to You. The comments are beautiful.
Thank you for being here. xo
Reader Comments and Reviews
Congratulations on your new baby girl. What a precious picture of the three of you!
I’m so so sorry to hear of Jude’s passing. Our pets are our family too and it hurts so much when we lose them. I lost my sweet Dolly (Yorkie) this past June after 14 years of companionship and fun. We have many wonderful memories but that doesn’t make it any easier, does it!
I so enjoy your posts but you take it easy for now.
I am going to make your cinnamon swirl bread soon.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
I am so sorry for your sadness. But you do have your girls, husband and happy memories. It has been nearly 20 years since we had to put Alex down, and there are times when I miss him so much, especially since Earl passed 5 years ago in Nov. It will get easier in time. And I loved the comment that dog spelled backward is God. He understands. I hope when my time comes Alex will come running to meet me.
Sweet Sally,
Take your time. Mend your heart. Feed your soul. Nurture that new life.
We’ll be here when you’re ready.
Love always,
Jessica
Hi Sally, I know all too well the loss of a pet from cancer is hard. My cat Daisy was 15 and had cancer. In her last few days she had no body temperature. It was very hard to go through for her and me. Please keep your chin up. Keep it up for you, your spouse, your kids and most of all…Jude. That’s what Jude would want. Good Bless.
I know the pain and heartache that you are feeling right now and I am so very sorry. The loss of a beloved pet leaves a hole in your heart and home. My children are grown now and my two dogs have become so much more important than I knew until one passed last year. I was just lost. It wasn’t long before we brought home a puppy to lift our spirits, and he sure helped to do that, but we never forget the ones that came before him. They all leave their pawprints on our hearts! I hope that you will find peace during this difficult time. (From one Maryland girl to another.)
Right there with you Sally, I had our 3rd baby in June, we lost our senior dog a month later, I have to homeschool my preschooler because of the pandemic and my daughter is in a hybrid school schedule, it’s nerve-wracking, isolating and hard, I agree with everything you said – right there with you!
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter and my deepest sympathies to you and your family on the loss of Jude. As a fellow dog owner, they are such a part of our family and, yes, every loss is hard. I so enjoy following you and making so many of your recipes. One day at a time.
Sally, I just wanted to express my deep deep sympathies on the loss of your Jude. I lost my beautiful dog-daughter last fall and it really catapulted me into a sadness that rocked me hard. The uncomplicated love of a dog and his/her parents is just so wonderful. I still miss her all the time and get weepy when I look at her pictures. Ugh – grief is a m-fer. 😉 Love seeing all of the good in your world too. Just wanted to send you some love from one of your fans. Take care!
I’m so sorry Sally that Jude has passed. That is extremely hard. I remember when we had to put one of our dogs down. That was the worst thing ever. But we still have our dog ( Rascal) and we made a lot of good memories with our old dog ( Rudy). Just try to remember all of the good memories you made with Jude. He was a good friend to you guys, he was apart of your family. You can’t think of all the bad thing, think of all the good thing. It was hard when I had to put my dog down. I love him so much and it was a hard time for me. Just remember that you were BLEESED to have a dog like Jude. I hope this comment help you feel better. When I lost my dog I wish somebody would have said the thing that I’m saying to you to me. Thank you Sally for everything you have done for all the people that are following you right now. ❤️❤️
I have a dog named Wilson, and when you said Jude was like your shadow, sidekick, and followed you wherever you went reminds me of Wilson. We should be the person our dogs think we are. Our Earthly home is where our family and dogs greet us, our Heaven home is with Jesus. When Wilson goes to be with Jesus, I know I’ll be absolutely heartbroken. I can’t image what your going through. I’m sure Jude was one in a million. Dog spelled backwards is God and they have a lot of the same qualities as God. They teach us unconditional love, loyalty, kindness, companionship etc I think that’s really amazing and mindblowingly beautiful. Dogs definitely have a piece of our hearts and are a true blessing from God. Seeing the sibling love of Noelle and Elsie is something to be truly treasured. I’m glad y’all were able to go on a family vacation and enjoy God’s beautiful creation, quality family time, and cinnamon swirl bread, it’s the simple pleasures in life right?! I can’t wait to make the cinnamon swirl bread and know that we love you Sally and are praying for all of you during this time!
Dear Sally, My heart just broke reading about your dog,I am sorry for your loss in this terrible time.
Hi Sally – I’m so sorry to hear about Jude. We lost our sweet old lady white German Shepherd in May. A week later my father in law passed away. It was also smack in the middle of COVID lockdown and racial injustice and a million other worries. We felt guilty for mourning the loss of our dog so much in the midst of so much other pain, but my husband wisely pointed out that our dog was so often our source of comfort, the one we turned to when we needed unconditional affection and that it makes it harder to face all the other challenges without them. Hugs to you and your family.
Dear Sally,
My heart breaks for you. I know that Jude was such an important part of your family. I always enjoyed seeing pictures of both Jude and Franklin on your blog. I will be praying that the Good Lord will give you and your family the comfort that you so richly deserve. Also, congratulations on the birth of Elise! Both of your girls are beautiful! God bless you and your family!
Dear Sally, Thank you for sharing your Joys and sorrows with us. This pandemic has changed many lives. I think it has made some people appreciate what they have and start to think about others.
Your recipes have brought people together. I made your skillet chocolate chip cookie for my grandson . He was so happy. Then while FaceTiming with friends, everyone asked for your recipe. While I have never written to you before, I want you to know I look forward to your emails. For a young woman, you inspire many women.
I pray each day That we can all get together and not let fear and color,or gender, keep us from respecting and showing kindness to eachother.
Enjoy your beautiful daughters, and loving husband. While Jude may have physically left this earth, he is with you. Our pets become our family.
I look forward to seeing Noelle’s 3rd birthday cake. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sally,
Your post brought tears to my eyes and made me feel like I’m not alone, even though I was just sobbing to my husband about how alone I feel!
I am in the early stages (week 9) of my first pregnancy after many many many years of trying. We haven’t been able to tell anyone yet, and that couple with the isolation from COVID, not going in to work, and feeling horribly sick all the time has left me feeling guilty about how sad I feel when I should feel so blessed to finally be pregnant after trying for so long.
Yesterday , after sitting on the couch all weekend, I was actually feeling ok, and decided to open up your website and made the banana peanut butter chocolate chip muffins. It was such a small victory, but I was so proud of myself for being able to cook, and find something I can eat that isn’t repulsive to me right now.
We also have a dog, who is (currently) our world, so I know how devastated you must feel. She is my little velcro dog, and I can’t imagine losing her.
I thank you for the comfort you brought me this weekend. I hope that letting you know how you were truly the only good part of my weekend brings you some sort of happiness as well.
Thank you,
Kelly
Sally, your love of Jude and your recipe for dog treats inspired me to make a version of your dog treats myself. While I don’t have a pup currently, I have made, given away and sold so many dog treats, and every single person who received them said their pup absolutely loved the treats – even those whose dogs would never eat any kind of treat before. So Jude’s legacy will live on forever in my life, and those who have partaken in those wonderfully inspired treats. Thank you, my heart goes out to you. P.S. – your sweet girls are beautiful, you are an inspiration to so many.
I send you a virtual hug…I’m a 30year postpartum nurse and know that emotions with a new baby are all over the map, they are not in your control…those hormones are powerful! I am also an obsessive dog owner, dealing with a similar outlook in my future…and having been through it so many times, I’m assuring you that you will feel better and it is SO normal how you are feeling now. And I’ve never seen a dog smile like your Jude…what a lucky dog to have been so loved and happy. Be kind to yourself
Sally, I really enjoy your wonderful recipes and have made a number of them with great results! I too, am sorry for your loss of Jude; my family lost our best friend, Pal, many years ago. My youngest child at the time was two years old and the family had a difficult time adjusting until we acquired a new family member, Whiskers! He was such a joy to us and my baby took to him immediately. Your two daughters are beautiful and I know you will come through this time even stronger and my family and I send you our best wishes and prayers. We all appreciate you and we are finding more great recipes on your site, so we have no qualms in saying that we wish you love, strength and happiness.
We too, lost our sweet dog of 11 years recently, Carly. I feel your pain. It’s doesn’t seem right that dogs are only with us a short time. Please know that God is there for comfort and peace. Snuggle on those little ones and your other doggie and enjoy your happy memories. Thanks for sharing 🙂 I look forward to your recipes every month!
Sweet, sweet Jude. I have been thinking about him over the last month…every time I logged onto you website. I had a sense perhaps he had passed but I am so sad to know he has. How joyful he was able to meet Elise. I hope you know his spirt will be with you always and he will watch over your girls…I truly believe this is true.
Dear Sally,
33 years ago right now, I was in the throes of postpartum depression. Back in those days they would just give you an ultrasound and tell you the sex of your baby. So for most of my pregnancy I was expecting a second baby girl. I had a baby boy and I felt like a monster for not feeling connected to him from the second he came out of me! It was downhill from there for about two years for me. My marriage broke up when my baby was only four months old and I already had a three-year-old daughter to raise as well. I understand the loneliness, the isolation and the emotions that go along with the hormones, “ daily situational stuff” and basically just feeling so alone in my feelings.
Not only did I not have my drivers license I didn’t have a car anyway, so I really was isolated!
I hope I can speak for the majority of your followers and your readers by telling you, we appreciate your honesty.
Two years ago I lost absolutely everything in my life, we went bankrupt, lost both of our beloved dogs within a year of each other, suffered the deaths of 2 VERY close family members, had to move to a new city where I knew no one, and start from scratch with finances. We are not spring chickens! We are much older than you and I pretty much have felt like I was alone through most of it.
Sadly my marriage has not survived all of the changes and I am now living with my daughter and her family taking it day by day.
Thank you again for being real and letting me know that even in this time of my life I’m still not alone with a lot of the mixed emotions I experience on a daily basis.
I’m sorry if I have shared too much but I feel kind of safe in this “anonymous” place .
Thank you and God bless.
Sally,
So sorry about the loss of Jude. It’s devastating to lose a pet. Hopefully your beautiful daughters can help ease some of your pain. Thank you for all you do & sharing your life and recipes with us. Wishing you a beautiful day 🙂
Kim
Sally, your post was beautifully written; thank you for sharing, Sending you love and healing hugs.
Sally, your daughters are beautiful! Enjoy them! The loss of a pet is akin to the loss of a family member. It takes a long time to come to grieve that loss. Take your time.
Sally, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. All of us dog lovers know how hard it is.
But, I swear, I am a better person for every dog I’ve loved and lost. They just don’t live long enough. And I’ve learned things from each one of them! For example, my beloved basset mix had a way of standing that one foot was pointed out. We called it her “second position” stance. I’m not a dancer, but if that brick of a dog could stand in second position, anybody can dance.
I lost two dogs within two months several year ago–one to diabetes that we just couldn’t get under control and the other to cancer. I still get teary thinking of them.
Truth is, every dog I’ve had has been THE BEST dog. Including the youngster I have now.
I’ve been cooking a lot lately and will make one of your recipes in honor of you and your family.
Sally, when a heart and soul is so loving and giving and open as yours, the losses we encounter in this world are that much harder to bare . Please wrap all the love we, your readers, are sending to you and your family during this sad, stressful but so joyous time. Take the time YOU need to heal. ((((HUGS)))))❤️❤️
Sally, I am so sorry for your family’s loss of Jude. Losing a pet can be so devastating because they are a huge emotional support for all of us who have one. They loves us unconditionally and make us smile every day.They are family and I was devastated when my 13 year old cat suddenly collapsed and died of an aneurysm. Don’t feel that you have to explain why your feeling grief. Grief is grief and take as long as you need to get through it. You’ve had a lot of changes in your life in the past few months, take time for you right now. Your followers will always be willing to wait for recipes. You have provided so many excellent ones through the years which are on repeat for me.
I am so so sorry about Jude. It is so very difficult to lose such a wonderful part of the family. We lost our most beloved weenie dog (Oscar, he was 14) five years ago next month and I still miss him terribly. I had a pic of him tattooed on my right ankle, because that’s where he always was.lol. He was my constant as Jude was yours. He was one of those dogs too that could sense your moods and always followed me wherever I would go in the house. When he got too old to go up and down our stairs (we have a tri-level home), he would wait for me at the top of the stairs to pick him up and take him where ever he needed to go (he trained me well!!). I know this will sound weird, but pet owners will agree, Jude is now whole and suffering no more, and remember him always with joy, and all the wonderful times you all shared and also know, that he’s waiting to see all of you again. Take care of yourself, your beautiful girls, Kevin, and Franklin.
Thanks for being honest and real Sally, because we can all relate. Your girls (and family) are so beautiful. Enjoy every moment of this time while they are so young and you are their world…it all goes by soooo fast even though these days feel slow. Take all the time in the world that you need, that’s way more important. You have sooooo many delicious abs amazing recipes on your blog that it’ll keep us all busy!! Take care.
Thanks for opening up and being honest. That’s so hard to do postpartum. I have 5 kids now but adjusting to 2 kids was actually the hardest adjustment for me. My advice would be to know things will get better with time. Take time to be alone to recharge. Make sure you are getting sunshine each day and exercise 3x’s a week. Even going on a walk is great! And don’t feel bad about not doing as much as you used to do. This is a season in your life where it’s ok and good to take a big step back from everyday responsibilities. And so sorry about the loss of your sweet dog. My prayers are with you!